For years it has been easy to consider the possibility of killing in self defence or defence of those who cannot protect themselves.
It has always seemed logical and appropriate.
It was always held in check for the absolute sanction.
Recently the feeling that this would be simple, necessary and easy has left me.
Sure, technique is basic and doesn't leave the mind.
The feeling of being capable and competent remains.
But the absolute knowledge that it would one day be necessary and appropriate has passed.
I feel a little lonely without it.
How do normal people manage?
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