Honesty and The Landmark Forum

I grimaced today as I provided information requested by the court on a personal matter.

I didn’t want to be seen as “that awful woman” or selfish.

I wanted to people-please and make everyone like me by being overly generous.

But I checked myself, and recognised what was happening, reviewed whether being overly generous would be truthful and came to a decision.

I decided to stick with honesty and modest figures when assessing another person’s need and requirement.

It hurt, it made me anxious, I didn’t want people to hate me.

I did it anyway, hit send and I grimaced.

 

A few minutes later I received a correspondence back, so I breathed a little and opened the email.

I expected to be criticized but instead read from my solicitor….

 

“Thank you, Cheryl.  That’s perfect.”

 

There’s a lesson there somewhere.

Next time I’ll try to remember that as long as I am trying to review facts, stick to “what happened” and not “what did I make that mean?” (Thank you, Landmark Forum, from an alumni class of ’98 student) (http://www.landmarkworldwide.com)

and was willing to stand and say “yes, this is my honest assessment of the situation”, it is possible that things will not be as fraught as I had feared them to be.

 

 

Too much stuff and the camels back

Recently I managed to get my kiddo in to a routine.


That's no mean feat, I hear you say, most children transition to a routine in the early years.
Ah HA! I say, she is a mid-teen and this is the first time she was receptive enough to adapt.


The daily routine was simple enough:
Get Up, tidy your room, have a whip round the bathroom (move your laundry, towels and products), pick up after yourself through the house, and do the dishes.
Then you can go back to doing what you were doing for the remaining 23hours and 21 minutes in the day.


It's the school holidays, I'm working full time and I'm tired of picking up her debris as I walk in the house after a long day.


It was working well-ish, I'd come home and be able to walk in the living areas without clambering over stuff, I'd be able to start dinner without having to do the days dishes first (rental house, no dishwasher).  It was going pretty ok-ish.


Then she went to camp.
And she left her room in a colossal mess.
Then I got all "Woe is me" and flopped down on to any available nearby chaise lounge.


We live a simple and stripped back life, no room for clutterbugging and yet she still seems to find a way.


I swear teens don't see the mess.
If I see one more "floor-drobe" in my life I cannot guarantee being responsible for my actions.