Phone-less in a phone soaked world

Phone-less.
A brick of glass and plastic.
A low-resolution camera and phone book.
That's all this bit o'kit had been reduced to.


I'm in between contracts and a keep-my-number transfer which should have taken a couple of hours is currently running at 5 days.


I could get shirty with the folks on the helpline, but they were nice and that's not how I roll.


I could troll their Facebook pages stating how awful they were, but on the scale of awful, this doesn't even begin to measure.


Folks on the telephone were horrified that this thing had gone wrong but it wasn't their fault, it's just a thing gone wrong and which is rectifiable. 


I must admit to being a little "pully face-y" in a grimace because


a) the school always phone, all the time
b) the kid memorised the number
c) I drive a beautiful clunker of a car and have breakdown cover
d) safety and quick dials to the authorities
e) I like phones


so it's all a bit rubbish, but it is only a bit rubbish, it'll pass, it'll work itself out, it'll be fine.


So, I'll see you when we've no longer gone dark. 


If you need me, I'll be the one talking to people and reading a paper book and drawing with pencils and learning the guitar and cooking new recipes and so forth because there's nothing better to do.  Hard life, eh?

Shocking Reality of Rail Fares

The cost of rail fares now in the UK is beyond shocking.

I have determined that for a group of 4,

 

it is cheaper to

 

• buy a disposable car,
• insure it for the day,
• drive it to London,
• see the tourist things that are there to see,
• drive home,
• call the breakers yard
• have them collect the vehicle for scrap
• cancel the insurance

 

than it is to buy 4 return tickets off peak, whether or not the tickets are directly purchased or through a comparison site.  See my evidence below of results through a popular discount rail ticket site (cough spottedhanky cough)...

 

Shocking!

We bought a trumpet

My daughter is a polymath, someone who picks up skills pretty easily for the most part and is pretty great at most subjects but not outstandingly brilliant at one or another by comparison, it frustrates her like crazy.


So, we were enjoying the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack in the car on the way to Church on Sunday and the song "Kiss to build a dream on" by Louis Armstrong came on with its crisp and clear brass solo toward the end...


The conversation went something like;


"I haven't heard this song in years, since I was about 8 years old!  Oh I love this song"
"Really?"
"Yep, and this sounds like a great wedding tune for a first dance"
"I was just thinking exactly the same thing!"
"I'd love to play the trumpet"
"Would you like me to pick one up for you?"
"Oh my gosh that'd be amazing, yes please, I want to be able to play 7 instruments by the end of the year"
"Ok, I'll have a look online and see what I can do".


Fast forward to today, one cheap n cheerful trumpet procured for delivery this week.


Why?!  Why do I offer these things? 


If you need me at any time in the next year, tap me on the shoulder to gain my attention.  These bad boys are going to be my best friends for the foreseeable future.
 

Poor people are losers, apparently.

I am struggling with the zeitgeist doing the rounds right now that poor people are losers. I have found myself feeling bad, embarrassed, ashamed, a loser. Mr Drumpf had me, against my better judgement, second guessing all my choices and feeling bad. 


I have never been $7Billion in debt.
I have never blatantly lied to everyone within the sound of my voice. 
I have never (knock on wood) been unable to provide a stable home for me and my people, yet I have experienced a period of feeling stupid.


I could give a timeline on why the choices made were correct and the best option at the time.
I could give a breakdown on how I am in the first generation in my family who had some choice available to them.
I could point out that statistically, the worlds entrepreneurs are lucky to have people to bail them out and pay the rent and groceries while they get going. 
I could explain how I am teaching the next generation to make more profitable choices at an earlier age.
I could give a breakdown how building a secure future costs £GBP now.
I am tired of explaining myself and I still feel stupid.


What I do have going for me is a work ethic to be admired, a devotion to strength and honesty and kindness, a responsibility to provide for my people, a serious but amused personality and a long term view of the big picture.


It is difficult to withstand the onslaught of unkind words from the media and raised eyebrows from people face to face who just don't get that you cannot buy that widget to fix the thingybob because it's not in the budget this month, it is difficult to keep the big picture in mind, and it is difficult getting up every day and performing in a job that I do well but might not be my eternal passion.   But difficulty is my fodder, it holds no fear, I'll overcome this period and I'll have great stories after the fact.  I just have to keep the faith in the mean time.


Success to me is no debt, savings in the bank and an income sufficient to have some fun without worrying about offsetting against the grocery budget.  I have a 6 year plan, and we may get there sooner rather than later or it may take a little longer than anticipated but I know my destination and have a roadmap.  One day I'll be able to kit out my house with nice new furniture, perhaps even furniture that goes well together, I'll be able to book a holiday to somewhere I fancy going rather than the cheapest option in a non war torn region, I'll be able to help those coming through a similar path to ours.  I can see the day in my mind, and I have an amazing track record of making the impossible come true.  Watch this slow-motion space.



 

Tutors: Cheating or Augmented Homework Droids

It's been 30 years since I was in Secondary School, or High School for our friends overseas.  During that time the syllabus changed, and the exam criteria changed and all this bountiful head full of knowledge accrued through study and application is of almost no use whatsoever to my teenager. 


So at the teenagers request and suggestion, we scouted for a good tutor, we have visited him, the teen has taken a class with him and learned more in an hour about interpretation of exam questions - if it's phrased this way, the examiner wants to know what you know about blah blah - than I have been able to do in a couple of years.


Interpretation of questions is something particularly tricky for teens with dyslexia and Asperger's Syndrome and Mears Irlen (where the words wobble on the page).  They have this wealth of knowledge in their mind but knowing how to respond to what is in front of them is difficult.  Their mind goes off in a spiral of what-does-that-say's and what-if's and does-it-mean's and all their study is almost for naught. 


In steps the new tutor, a fully qualified teacher, and I'm excited to see if it is helpful in the long run.  The teen has 1.25 years before the big, scary exams are due so a little diligence now will hopefully help kiddo translate all of that good stuff into written stuff on the page.  I'd rather invest in education than something which would not last as long.

Told you it was temporary

Yesterday I wrote about how having just over £2.00 is ok if everything is covered and if you don't measure your worth against a temporary number in the banking system.


I am pleased to say that yesterday was the final day of a two week skint period, and we are back in the black as of this morning.


Hunkering down to ride out the difficulty, covering the basics, still seeing friends, not hermiting or withdrawing, making the best of what you have, cooking from storage items, eating simply, choosing to face it all, switching off lights not in use, knowing that you are a very talented individual who has chosen this path for a better future, keeping a realistic but positive perspective, driving slower and smoother to conserve fuel all help.


If I had been ignorant or dismissive and refused to face the inevitable and went ahead anyway, well, good luck to me. 
BUT, If I do everything I can but still fall short, so be it, it's not permanent, it is temporary and it is not to be feared. 
Things turn around with a dash of luck, a lot of work and a heap of determination. 


There's a saying among our southern hemisphere cousins,
"If you don't like the weather in New Zealand, come back in 10 minutes!". 
Its the same around here in a fiscal sense, if you don't like the bank balance on your account right now, come back tomorrow.

Net Worth and Perspective

Have you ever been down to your last £2.76 in the bank?

Yeah, no, me neither.

If it were me, I’d be grateful that

• we have enough simple food storage to see us to payday.
• the bills are covered completely.
• it is +£2.76 and not -£2.76.
• there’s a couple of quid in the purse.
• the car has a full tank of petrol.
• the laundry is done because we’ve just run out of laundry detergent.
• the knowledge that this is temporary.
• the belief that net worth does not define my value as a person.
• the belief this is all for the greater good while we fight the good fight.
• the knowledge that things are this way because of what we are building.
• that in years to come we’d have some great stories and perspective.
• that our head is above water because you swim so damn good.
• that hopefully things will never be this lean again.
• that we still have a "laugh at the Universe" attitude. So what you're skint, so what!

You know, if it were me, which it isn’t.

 

Poverty Panic Pangs

It’s a lovely, blue sky, crisp air winters day out today, the kind of day which is likely to put a spring in one’s step.

The only problem with this is that I went to work without my jacket.

You know, my green one, buttons up, mid length… that one.

My purse is in my jacket pocket, with my ID card for work and all my money and access to money, such as my bank cards and such.

This isn’t just a minor inconvenience.

It produces within me an attack of “poverty panic pangs”.

Poverty panic is when my mind races and my heart gallops and I start to over-plan contingency strategies and emergency escape routes and re-map my day to accommodate the new event.

It’s a bit overkill, to say the least.

So in my poverty panic, by the time I got to the staff entrance I’d already calculated that I didn’t have time to return home yet, that I had loose change which had been weighing down my handbag for weeks which I could use to “start the day right” with a bread roll from the café on work premises, and that I could turn to the food storage (I kid you not) in my desk drawer.  I keep sachet soups in a little box as a just in case of hunger or perhaps an exciting apocalypse.  I don’t know that I’d have enough time to boil the kettle in the event of a zombie apocalypse but they’re there as a back-up.  I hope the zombies don’t chew through the electrical wiring leaving me without H2O sufficient to make my meal.

I learned once that how you are responding to an adverse situation right now isn’t about what’s happening right now, but about how something similar happened ages ago and you responded a certain way and you are here to tell the tale, so when that “reminds me of a situation” thing happens in your brain, it goes to the draw marked “successful strategies” and pulls out your file and you respond exactly like you did before, even if that doesn’t work for this particular event, and it’ll keep trying until it either works or another problem arises or until you end up rocking back and forth in the corner!

Historically, when “my purse is empty” happened, I planned and schemed and wiggled my way through it, now every time it reoccurs or I feel like it is reoccurring, the same feelings arise and the same response is activated until I hit the “CALM DOWN, You’ve got soup in the drawer” button in my old noggin.

So all the bases are covered. 

The car has petrol, the desk draw has lunch, my handbag has breakfast covered, security are nice and are happy to sign me in.

Now to tell my heart rate that the emergency is in hand.

If you need me, I’ll be the one where my fingers are typing but my head is meditating itself silly to restore equilibrium to this little soul of mine.

The Joy of Budgets and Luck - A Happy Day!

This month I get to put a couple of feathers in my nest. 

A couple of quid, set aside for rainy days, although we tend to get through the money faster on sunny days in our house, ever ready to make hay while the sun shines and head to the beach at a moments notice.

Q. Why is this noteworthy?

A. Because it has never happened before.

It is a first.  An inaugural nest feathering.

It’s a testament to waiting long enough for the blessings to roll in, to have most of what we need and some of what we want.

Now, who knows how long these particular feathers will last?

Not me, that’s for sure.

Cars break, shoes are grown out of, anything could happen.

I have a budget running out another 3 years hence to match the 3 years prior but you never quite know what is around the corner. 

How did we get here?

• Priorities: knowing what to pay first and doing exactly that.  Ecclesiastical responsibilities aside, I am thankful to my former manager, Samantha N, for telling us quite forcefully one time about when she had some challenges…. In her East London accent she told us with force and gesture “First priority, keep a roof over your head, you can do without electricity if you have to, use all them candles laying around the place!!!, you can sleep on the floor, you can eat cereal for a year but keep a bloody roof over your heads, I’m tellin’ ya now …”
• Blessings and the generosity of hand me down items from friends and acquaintances.
• Selling every single superfluous item that wasn’t nailed down.
• Cutting our coat to match the cloth.  Apart from real emergencies, we tried really hard to use what we have.
• Make do and mend.  I became proficient at fixing things rather than replacing where possible.  YouTube tutorials coupled with the internet for downloading manuals have been invaluable and I highly recommend this as a money saving approach to staying on budget.
• Never pay retail.
• Eating cornflakes, breakfast, dinner and tea, on the really tight months.  Sometimes adding milk!  <Joke>  <not really joking!>
• Budgeting.  There is not a regular bill comes in to this house without me having had the time to fret over it for months on the spreadsheet.  Who knew worrying ahead of time would be a blessing?  We budget for groceries, utilities, birthdays, Bar Mitzvah’s, Christmas, services such as breakdown cover for the car, tax, insurances and so forth.
• We make the “running money” count: a day at the beach, do we get hotdogs or visit the aquarium?  There’s often only budget for one or the other and generally I find packing up a lunch means we can still get ice cream and do the activity.

We lost several groups of friends during this period because we couldn’t keep up with the Jones’ or go to “Somewhere nice” and good folks got tired of asking, so to them, sorry, we had to do what we had to do. 

When your calculator key most frequently used is the Minus button, it makes you pay attention.

We’ve never been frivolous, and the feathers in the nest I spoke of are calling my name and burning a hole in my pocket for a completely irrational purchase but I’m going to try and be strong and try and add to it next month.

Knock on wood and wish me luck.